17 Mar Toxicity in our systems

What are toxic to us? These can be attributed to our multi layers of existence such as physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of us. It occurred to me that when we are intoxicated with one aspect, we affect the other layers as well. It is like virus that affects the whole system. Are you aware that your relationships with others is a measurement on how you are treating yourself? Today I contemplated on this. It was revealed to me, how I allow this habitual pattern that exist in my sexual relationship with my sexual partner.

It is raw and I feel vulnerable in sharing this to others. I feel that exposing my sexuality is like exposing my darkness. Because this is one of the karmic patterns in my life. I incarnate with this blueprint in my Akashic Records. Sometimes I ask myself, “why did I choose this incarnation? It is so challenging, a lot of suffering, chaos and drama within my psyche, wellbeing and how I see myself and the world around me. The imprints of my family that harmed my innocence and purity. Right at the get go of my infancy stage, I was molested by my baby sitters and followed up with family members. The worst part of sexual abuse is you lose your sense of trust in yourself and others. You lose your discernment what is good for you and what is toxic. Toxicity becomes the comfort zone, you feel at home with being and allowing toxic in your life.

How can you allow things that hurt you and permeate in your energy fields? What were you thinking? Was there a hook or an attachment to this issue? This is the  incessant karmic bond that is holding me back to move on. I was hooked to this drama, that I was not valued or loved for who I am. I kept feeling rejections. What is it within me that I reject? What are the things that I have not fully accepted with myself? Today I am radically facing this once and for all, and I asked the divine guidance to reveal to me the things that are hidden to me.

Enough is enough. I am going to see what I needed to see. What are my blind spots? I am a woman who have wisdom, integrity and values. I am respecting myself and know what I deserve. I value the divine gifts within me. I value my worth. Today I let go of something that was a repeating cycle in my relationships. To be with someone who does not love me. Why did I allow this in my life? For some reason, I had an excuse or denial that this person was with me during my grieving moments with the loss of my son. So I gave him value to be with me. My excuse was that he was there for me when I was suffering. I was grateful for his existence while I was grieving, he was there with me. Until I saw myself asking for more, I wanted relationship and commitment. He cannot give this to me. Then, seeing him became strange. As I healed myself from grieving, I found myself longing for the wholesomeness of relationship. LOVE. I realized I am not broken anymore. I want love with my sexual partner. I cannot be intimate without love.

As I repeatedly broken off with him the 13^th times for three years, I have now to face the inevitable. This karmic bond is causing me insanity, I am wasting my time and energy. It is toxic for me. I have to learn the value of putting myself first. If it does not help me, I have to let go completely and understand the value that I learned. What I learned is to be healthy with myself, not to allow things that will hurt me or bring misalignment into my higher self. I learn to value my worth.

That was the past, it is now time to move on. Because I love myself. I am putting myself first. I am loving myself. This is the time to let go for good what is not working for me. To face what I needed, what I want to co-create and be happy with my decision. Not to settle with someone who does not value me. I am valuing myself. It is an important time to truly love myself. It is time to unconditionally love myself and create a beautiful life with my loved ones.

I realized during this time of clearing, I am also detoxing and cleansing my health. I took two weeks using Wild Rose detox and I felt the shift in my physical body. I did not realized how much addicted I was with sugar. I found clarity with my mental thoughts. I was able to focus on my book projects. Schedule myself for more self-care such as a retreat in Kye Bay with my soul brother. Time in nature is so important for me. With this time spent in nature, it grounds me and brings me back to my value, inner peace, and joy in living.

I did a big clearing in my home. Bought a dresser that I truly love, the antiquity of wooden furnitures makes me feel at home. I am able to enjoy the fruits of freedom as I retired from my full time work as a nurse. I enjoy my two days a week routine visits in the nursing home. My rewards in my work as a nurse is to be in my heart, with compassion leading me to being a true human in service for others. I feel so much love with my two cats. I love the plants that I have in my home. I surround myself with crystals that helps me vibe higher. The relationships with my clients in Akashic Records are intimate and sweet. I love my students and I feel so blessed to be able to share a life filled with love and Light.

Today as I write and come into a full circle with my sexual karma, I feel light. I am so happy that I can share this journey with others. To help them in their confusion and loss. To be a guiding hand and be able to see their own worth and value. To bring them back to their true essence which is love. To know that things happened for a reason which can be unconscious to us, like karma. And that we have the power with the assistance of our Masters of Light to transform and change our karmic bondages for our highest good and potential.

I ask you to take a self-inventory today. Ask yourself questions about your habitual patterns and conditions. What is your relationship with your physical body? Do you ingest food or substance that is toxic for you? Do you have negative thoughts about your image? Do you criticize your own self? These are signs of negative habitual patterns. You can start clearing but first acknowledge deep within that you have a problem. Then, you can start facing yourself, your thoughts and how you see your own physical body. Your relationship with yourself!

Next is your emotional fields, how do you feel with others? Are you at peace and in joyful state? Or do you have negative or lower emotional baggage that you have been carrying since childhood? It is time to clear this heaviness. Reconcile with these emotions that are not helping you. Be attune with your vibrations. We are energetic beings, what we carry brings us down if we are not aware of the density or lower vibrations that you are emitting or transmitting. Release these energies that you had entangled yourself from or that you are carrying. There are attunements to the angels realm that can help you cleanse, meditate and activate your light body to support you in your transition.

Your mental thoughts are so important in your health. Worries for future or doubts of success can bring your health in a downward spiral. Be present. Breathe and be mindful of what your thoughts are. If they are negative, switch it or flip it into positive it is as easy as this. We do not need to dwell on negative thoughts. You can just acknowledge and let go. Let go of the story. Do not waste your time trying to figure things out or analyzing. Your analytical or linear mind is not going to shift the situation. It created the problem. What will help you is awareness. Being aware that you are stuck in negative thoughts. These are lower vibrations, they create your realities. To gain mental clarity, you will need to learn how to let go of thoughts that are not healthy for you. Keep positive thoughts and let go of old limiting beliefs. Focus on your creative expression. I noticed people are scattered most of the time, they like wasting their time in victim story. They lost connection with their power. This is mental clarity, when you are focus and meaningful in living your values in life. What are your core values? What is important with you? Name and journal with them to see yourself clearly.

Your spiritual aspect is about alignment with love and light. It has nothing to do with religion, it is in deep soul level. Religions can sometimes serve as separation and judgement about others religion. When we are co-creating a life filled with divine grace, we are at one with all that is. In this field of oneness or unified consciousness, you feel at home here in your planetary body. We are multi-dimensional beings of Light. If you can see yourself from this point of view, you are allowing the universal laws to work with you.

When all our dimensions are clear, balance and functioning in its highest good of love and light, then we can progress in our growth. We co-create more loving relationships around us. We learn to love and value our lives. We become more expansive in our ways of living and being. We become calm and collected. We do not react to drama or confusion. But we are clear with our wise decisions and choices. We know deep within that we have come to incarnate at this juncture of our lifetime, to anchor the golden era. To relinquish what no longer serve us. To claim our birth right, to be a pure vessel of love and light. To serve others and remain vigilant in this darkness times. To know that we are powerful with the support of our spiritual guides and teams. That we are not never alone. We are eternal souls, living in this planetary bodies. These mortal bodies are inhabited by immortal souls. Om