16 Jan Signs of Danger

What is it in me, that at this age of 55, I still attracted a man that violated my body when I said no to his offer of sex? I did not listen to my gut feeling. I feel like I am missing the point, where I have to trust my gut feeling and say no with power and strong conviction.

Why did I choose to trust when I already knew deep within me that this was not safe? My mind seemed to contradict my triggers. I feel unconsciously I went this way; it is a familiar and dangerous comfort zone.

Why do we put ourselves in dangerous situations or temptations? My family’s karma was about sexual abuse, and I found out that I still had some imprints that needed to be discovered. I did not listen to my gut feeling. I went to a place where I didn’t feel safe. I put myself in that trap. Why? Where is this coming from?

I believe this is a hook from being sexually abused. There is a disconnection from my being that allows this predatory act even though my gut feeling says no.

I looked at my breast today and found the bruises, black and blue. This is abuse, and suddenly, it dawned on me that when I was abused by my father, he sucked my one breast and was not bruised. This bruised breast made it clearer to me that this was abuse. It is ironic that I have to see the bruises to feel like I was abused.

I literally felt the shift in my consciousness, that when there is a sign of danger, I need to stop and feel this sign. I lost the sense of warning, discernment and I became gullible to temptations.

Fortunately, I got home safe. Trust should be earned; I learned the lesson of not trusting others without their merit. From past experiences with close friends, when you think you can trust them but they turn around and break it! Break it without thinking that they would hurt you. Trust is a divine surrender. I trust the Source of all that is. I trust that my life is protected from any harm. When I am in danger, I trust that my guides are there to protect me. I trust in knowing that I can always pick up the broken pieces of trust and create a new template of love, forgiving others and lighting up my life with so much brightness that there is no room for darkness.

I can choose my response to the story. I have intuition that is my true compass. I will choose Light and that I am loved. I will say yes to what feels good to me, and no to what does not resonate with my body. I am aware, conscious and brave to say no. I am powerful, responsible for my choices and discerning of what is true for me. I am that I am.

We are more powerful than this victim story, as a warrior of Light, I now have the ability to truly see beyond the form, intention and I have a strong force field of Light surrounded by my Masters of Light. No harm can come to me, I am safe and I am loved. I forgive the harm that was done to me consciously and unconsciously. I forgive myself for not being aware and conscious of this intention. I release and clear this imprint from my DNA, bloodline and lineage. I bless my family and generations to come, to have this shield of knowing, protection and love.

“May the Light penetrate your foggy confused state when surrounded by challenging moments. May the divine force guard, guide and protect you, wherever you are. “

An excerpt from the book Sacred Sexuality