07 May Deep lessons of truth

When we are isolated from others, we become accustomed to our own self. Our peace or confusion pervades this space of solitude. To know our own self is to dive deep into our unconscious and become friendly with what we do not want to face. We have a lot of escapisms. We deny the underlying truth, the pain and sadness that seeps through when we are alone. When we feel the emptiness and void within our hearts, we stay away from looking deep within at what it is that makes us feel alone? Why are we alone? Who is with us in the time of crises? Who is beside us in the time of our death?

These are the questions that arise as I discover my solitude with myself. Today I want to reflect and find insights as I explore the depth of my inner being. The things that I hide from others and feelings that are raw and softens my heart. There are a lot of walls around my heart. These walls have served their purpose. First, they were there to protect me from being hurt. Then, as I grew stronger I realized they were also serving to separate me from others. I feel this intimacy within myself, but I am unable to create another person beside me. I feel loved within, why can’t I co-create a beloved? I want to know and understand where the roots are coming from and how I can pull out these old ancient roots and plant new seeds in my sacred heart.

To receive love is to allow the openness within. Trusting that I am here to experience love. I feel love within and I see love in all creations. I am being initiated to the truth of what I deeply and intimately want to experience which is to love and be loved. This is the deep innate longing for someone to touch, to care for and be one with.

What are the walls around my heart? These are unconscious thoughts believing that I am not good enough. These are the rejections that I had experienced as I was growing up and unconsciously seeded within my psyche. These walls created a false security that I am protecting myself from being vulnerable. I created a wall of separation from having someone become intimate with me. My coping mechanism is to deny others’ love for me. This became apparent to the type of men that I attracted in the past. I felt rejected from others and my love was unreciprocated. I turned this pattern around by immersing myself with so much love and appreciation for myself. I embraced all the parts and aspects of myself that I rejected and abandoned. I can finally say that I truly love myself for who I am. I found my Self.

As I sojourns with my existence, I woke up from this long sleep. This void in my heart initiated me to the true power of healing. Finding myself is like filling in the void with cosmic understanding that I am never alone. My soul is expansive and my heart is filled with love and divine grace.

The path of searching for human love became the source of a higher love greater than what I was looking for. This is the divine love for all creations, my connection to the higher mind of God. To know my self is to know God that is within me and is an innate knowing that I am never alone. I am always loved.

In any challenging times, I am protected, provided for and secure. My soul is eternal and in my deathbed the Divine grace is upon my soul. The search to be free and liberated from all the sufferings of being human can be attained through meditation and contemplation that we do with ourselves.

As I co-created this sacred space for my soul I attained true freedom from being small. I was able to commune with the universal Source of all that is. This is the love that I am longing for, if in this lifetime this person arrives to walk this path with me, I am truly humbled to this divine timing. The blessings that I received from the universe is beyond my comprehension.

My heart is full, deeply trusting the harmonious synchronization of my blueprint. I am here as a conduit of the Divine Light to shine. We are here to experience love in all creations and be a witness of the wonderment of it all.

It starts with searching for love, filling the void with divine grace and knowing that we are loved. In this human experience of lack, we find the source of all creations bringing back to us our true identity, it is not in human suffering but with knowing that we are divine and loved. In this condition and mind set, we can co-create a life filled with love, hope and faith. Together we can transform the things that need to go, to release what no longer serve us and be the fire of our purified state of being. We have the power to ignite each other with the Light of the universe and to remember our true essence is love.